The Third Strand

My wife, Jackie and I were privileged to lead a couple's retreat for our church this past weekend. Besides addressing the typical marriage enrichment topics of communication, commitment, cooperation and romance, we closed the weekend with the importance of "the Third Strand," in the a marriage relationship.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who fall and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

God speaks through King Solomon about relationships by offering some simple, yet profound wisdom. This wisdom is important, especially when it comes to the relationship beteen a husband and wife.

Two is better than one when it comes to productivity. The old adage, "two heads are better than one" fits very well here. When a couple works together, their prospects of success are better. When making decisions, when handling finances, when raising children...the importance of working as partners is both efficient and effective.

Two is good, because there is support. We all stumble and fall. Yet,when you are partnered together as a team, you have someone who can help you get back up. As a couple, we complement each others strengths and weaknesses. As a couple, when one is sick, hurt or emotionally down, their partner can help share the load. It is encouraging to know that you are not alone in your struggle.

It can be cold, cruel world out there when you are alone. God speaks to the marriage relationship in this passage, by illustrating that marriage is a place of warmth that comes from love and intimacy. In our first home as a couple, Jackie and I lived in a small apartment of an old house. Our bedroom was a walled-in back porch with no insulation. Just let it be said, if we had be not been newlyweds, we might not have survived the winter. The intimacy that comes from love provides warmth and security to the marriage relationship.

The fourth bit of wisdom reveals that two is good for mutual protection. In a marriage, a couple should always have one another's back. We should always watch out for one another: protecting their reputation; watching over their physical and emotional well being; as well as providing for their needs.

Yet, in this advice for relationships where the emphasis has been on the power of two, God throws in "a cord of three strands," in His summation. What is the significance of this "third strand?"

In today's world, where half of all marriages end in divorce or separation it is evident that the power of two is not enough. Sadly, the marriage statistics among people who call themselves Christians are not much better than that of the secular world. So God's wisdom about relationships is very relevant.

The Third Strand represents God. As the Lord is allowed to weave His presence, power and wisdom throughout the relationship of a husband and wife, there is strength. Strength to withstand all that seeks to pull marriages apart. The couple that invites the Lord to be the "third cord" in their marriage stands a lot better chance of surviving the challenges of today's world.

Marriage Takes Three
"I once thought marriage took just to to make a go,
But now I am convinced it takes the Lord also.
And not one marriage fails where Christ is asked to enter,
As lovers come together with Jesus at the center.
But marriage seldom thrives, and homes are incomplete,
Til He is welcome there to help avoid defeat.
In homes where Christ is first it's obvious to see,
Those unions really work for marriage still takes three."